[Verse 1]
Hi!
Original Bad Boy on the case, cover your face
Came in the place blowed, and sprayed Puffy with Mase
I laced the weed with insect repellant, better check the smellin'
Eminem starts with E, better check the spelling
With a capital, somebody grab me a Snapple
I got an aspirin capsule trapped in my Adam's apple (hurry up!)
Somebody dropped me on my head, and I'm for sure
That my mother did it, but the [bad word] won't admit it was her
I slit her stomach open with a scalpel when she was six months
And said, "I'm ready now [bad word] - ain't you feelin these kicks [bad word] "
The world ain't ready for me yet, I can tell
I'll probably have a cell next to the furnace in [bad word] I'm sicker than sperm cells with syphilis germs
And I'm hotter than my [bad word] is, when I [bad word] and it burns
I kick you in the tummy until you sick to your stomach
And vomit so much blood that your clothes stick to you from it (yuck!)
Hit you in the head with a brick til you plummet
If y'all don't like me, you can suck my [bad word] til you numb it
And all that gibberish you was spittin, you need to kill it
Cause your style is like dying in my sleep, I don't feel it
[Hook]
Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
For twenty grand, a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
Is [bad word] crazy -- you hear me? Ha?
Is [bad word] crazy -- hello, hi!
Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
For twenty grand, a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
Is [bad word] crazy -- do you hear me?
Is [bad word] crazy

[Verse 2]
I'm ice grillin you, starin you down with a gremlin grin
I'm Eminem, you're a [bad word] in a women's gym
I'm Slim, the Shady is really a fake alias
To save me with in case I get chased by space aliens
brainiac, with a cranium packed, full of more uranium
Than a maniac Saudi Arabian
[bad word] head, spazmatic
Strapped to a Craftmatic adjustable bed
Laid up in the hospital in critical condition
I flatlined; jumped up and ran from the mortician
High speed, IV full of Thai weed
Lookin Chinese, with my knees stuck together like Siamese
Twins, joined at the groin like lesbians
Uhh, pins and needles, hypodermic needles and pins
I hope God forgives me for my sins -- it probably all depends
On if I keep on killin my girlfriends

[Hook]

[Verse 3]
Last night I O.D.'d [bad word]  mushrooms and dust
And [bad word] to the hospital to get my system flushed
(Shucks!) I'm an alcoholic and that's all I can say
I call in at work, cause all I do is frolic and play
I swallow grenades, and take about a bottle a day
Of Tylenol 3 and talk about how violent I'll be (RRARRRRH),
Give me eleven Excedrin my head'll spin
Medicine'll get me revvin like a 747 jet engine
Scratched my balls til I shredded skin
"Doctor, check this rash, look how red it's been"
"It's probably AIDS!" "Forget it then"
I strike a still pose and hit you with some ill flows
That don't even make sense, like dykes using [bad word] So reach in your billfolds, for ten ducats
And pick up this Slim Shady [bad word] that's on Rawkus
"Somethin somethin somethin, somethin, I get weeded"
My daughter scribbled over that rhyme, I couldn't read it [bad word]