Just when I thought everything would be ok 
Just when I started to believe that everything was going my way 
Out came the cloud from under my feet 
Crashing back down to reality 

You used to call me pumpkin now I'm Halloween 
Remember when I used to your jellybean 
You used to call me schnookums and [bad word] like that 
Now you're after me with a baseball bat 

I remember when I used to be the king 
Your honey sweet darling baby everything 
I used to be your tall dark mystery man 
Now I'm just straight up history man 

Just when I thought everything would be all right 
Just when I started to believe that everything was out of sight 
You left me with nothing but a scribbled note 
That said I would no longer be your love boat 
From here on out my pet name would be x 
Your x your x your x 

It used to be sugar then it turned into salt 
I used to rock your world now I'm standing on a fault line 
Lying naked in a hail storm in the dark 
You're my little tornado and I am your trailer park 
You used to call me names too cute to repeat 
Like honey bunch hairy bear and piccolo peet 
Goochy goochy goo goo gaga [bad word] like that 
Now you're after me screaming you dirty rat 

I don't remember applying for a name change 
So why is it you're calling me mister deranged 
Psychopathic pornographic stinking [bad word] 
Failing fast lying [bad word] worthless punk 

You used to call me sweety pie and baby doll 
I guess another studs kicking in my stall 
You'll probably call him superman or loverboy 
You'll probably disregard him like a broken toy 

Just when he thought everything was going his way 
Just he started to believe everything was hunky dory 
He'll look at that cloud that he's standing on 
And with an itsy bitsy tiny little almost inaudible squeak 
He'll notice 
It's gone 

From here on out his pet name would be x 
Your x your x your x 

Sweet pie? 
No x 
Honey bunch? 
No x 
Bubble butt? 
No x 
Pumpkin face 
X