Hey my name's Wheatley; I'm a brilliant little core!
I didn't know what to expect when I opened up that door!
I showed her where the gun was; she progressed like a pro!
Such a good jumper too... [bad word] me, I know!)

When we found GLaDOS, I kinda woke her up!
She wasn't happy, nooo... she [bad word] me like a cup!
Found a great big bird; it put me on my rail!
When I found Chell again, I tried to tell her the tale!
(But!)

That little moron couldn't handle it!
He gained some power and lost his [bad word] 
He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip! 
And now he's banished into space, without a ship!

We went behind the scenes to try and escape!
She tried to [bad word] us again: got through without a scrape!
Destroyed her neurotoxin and replaced all the turrets!
Turns out they're pretty useless without any bullets!

We made it to her chamber; I was ready to insert!
Then Chell pressed the button...oooh, man that hurt!
I did lose control, I'll be the first to admit...
I even punched Chell down a deadly pit...

That little moron couldn't handle it!
He gained some power and lost his [bad word] 
He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip! 
And now he's banished into space, without a ship!

With GLaDOS out the picture, I could call the shots!
Did a little digging and came across the bots!
Had a real bad itch and needed to do some tests!
But first I had to deal with those troublesome pests!

Chell and the potato, made it to my lair!
I only tried to help them; it just wasn't fair!
Then Chell shot a portal on to the moon!
And it sucked us out like a big typhoon!

That little moron couldn't handle it!
He gained some power and lost his [bad word] 
He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip! 
And now he's banished into space, without a ship!

Spaaaaace!

Spaaaaaaaaaaaace!

Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!

Space!
Space!
Space!
Space!
Space!
Space!
Space!

[x4]
That little moron couldn't handle it!
He gained some power and lost his [bad word] 
He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip! 
And now he's banished into space, without a ship!