Well I wake up this morning I rolled out of bed 
I felt like a dog who's been kicked in the head 
Checked out my mail there was letter that read 
Love for sale, love for sale 

I picked up the phone I called everyone I could 
I let my fingers do the walking through the telephone book 
You can't catch a fish if you ain't got the hook 
Love for sale, love for sale 

Send up a signal throw me a line 
Somebody explain "this funny Valentine" 
It might not be legal but it sure ain't a crime 
I'm one step from crazy and two steps behind 

I called Lt. Columbo from my TV set 
I've tried the Dating Game I haven't found her yet 
I'm hoping that she's looking like a Penthouse Pet 
Love for sale, love for sale 

We've been living together 3 years, 
2 hours, 20 minutes maybe four hundred beers 
You can't shop for love when you're shopping at, Sears 
Love for sale, love for sale 

I guess I've learnt my lesson it was easy to see 
My old lady she played this joke on me 
I never looked where I forgot it would be 
Love for sale, love for sale

Music & lyrics: Jon Bon Jovi, Richie Sambora