I took her out, it was a Friday night 
I wore cologne to get the feeling right 
We started making out and she took off my pants 
But then I turned on the TV 

And that's about the time she walked away from me 
Nobody likes you when you're twenty-three
And are still more amused by TV shows 
What the [bad word] is ADD? 
My friends say I should act my age 
What's my age again? 
What's my age again? 

Then later on, on the drive home 
I called her mom from a pay phone 
I said I was the cops 
And your husband's in jail 
This state looks down on sodomy 

And that's about the time that [bad word] hung up on me 
Nobody likes you when you're twenty-three
And are still more amused by prank phone calls 
What the [bad word] is caller ID? 
My friends say I should act my age 
What's my age again? 
What's my age again? 

(Musical Solo) 

And that's about the time she walked away from me 
Nobody likes you when you're twenty-three
And you still act like you're in Freshman year 
What the [bad word] is wrong with me? 
My friends say I should act my age 
What's my age again? 

And that's about the time she broke up with me 
No one should take themselves so seriously 
With many years ahead to fall in line 
Why would you wish that on me? 
I never want to act my age 
What's my age again? 
What's my age again? 

What's my age again?