Iceland: What, were you expecting something?
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIceland!
Youuuuuuuuuuuu must be thinking it's pretty cold, right?
It's not as cold as you think it is!
There's so many good things waiting in Iceland!
The midnight sun in summer, the aurora shining in winter.
Our public order is of the highest class!
Our food and cooking is delicious! Much different than that other country nearby!

Puffin: Hey, hey! (Iceland: Hey, wait...) Aren't you forgettin' da most important thing!
(Iceland: Stop it...)
Puffin: I'm the mascot! Too cute to be [bad word]  The ocean pierrot! They call me Puffin!
Order: Chahradriiformes! Family: Alcidae! Genus: [bad word] 
What's special about me? They say I look like a penguin,
but what they can't do is freakin' fly in the sky!
Now, let's be a couple!
Iceland: Everyone's hating you, you know?
Puffin: Like [bad word] they are!

Both: Let's chug down some awesome Brennivín![1] (Puffin: Black Death ![2])
Let's take a dip into the Blue Lagoon! (Iceland: What, were you expecting something?)
Iceland: The country of volcanoes, icebergs, and hot springs await!
Both: Velkominn[3] to Iceland!

Iceland: The Icelandic language hasn't changed much in almost a century.
I wonder if it's because we're separated from any continents.
Puffin: Speaking of history, if you examine yer ancestors,
you're blood bros with that really snarky guy!
Iceland: Stop it. I would've preferred if I was a descendant of a legendary tribe of native people.
Puffin: Ha ha, you say that but you two look alike, ya know! *smack* PUNKKKK!

Iceland: Iceland is waiting for you!
We'll open up more sightseeing tours!
I want to show you more and more of
this giant, unknown Earth we live in.
Þingvellir's Silfra fissure.
The golden falls, Gulfoss.
The Strokkur geyser gets its heat from the magma.

Puffin: Man, man, I knew I shouldn't 'ave left this to ya! (Iceland: What?)
Puffin: This red ribbon is way too freakin' adorable! Gimme your sing time now! I am Puffin! Puffin!
My stuffed toy can also [bad word] a magnet! The perfect gift for all ages!
They may call me a small fry and all that,
but I'm a protected species, baby!
I can swim in the ocean and when [bad word] to fishing, I am super frakin' awesome!
Even my monotone body and brilliant beak is pimpin'!
Now, let's make a colony! (Iceland: That is never happening.)

Both: Let's chow down on some great licorice!
Let's look and go around the Golden Circle! (Iceland: I'll guide you around.)
Iceland: The country of volcanoes, icebergs, and hot springs await!
Both: Velkominn to Iceland!

Velkominn to Iceland!
Lalala...

Iceland: I've never really thought of it as strange before, but it seems that most of the other countries have a surname or title attached to their name.
Puffin: Oh oh, you mean somethin' like, "Adorable Puffin"?
Iceland: I think it's different than that.
Puffin: Oh! Then is it somethin' like, "I wanna hug Dee Puffin?
Iceland: No. You're annoying. Shut up.
Puffin: Now I got it! It's "Ivan to go on a date with that Puffin!", right?
Iceland: That's wrong in so many ways.
Haa... My back and fingers hurt...
Hmm? Oh. It looks like there's a few more people visiting!
Puffin: See? They obviously came because of my super adorableness! Right?
Iceland: Don't expect an agreement from me. Let's see...
I guess this is probably because of [bad word] s help.
Puffin: What the [bad word] ? You need to learn how to admit when people are right!
I'm 100 trillion times more cuter than that dude, ya punK!
Iceland: Really?
Still, I have more tour customers now. Lucky~!
Lalala...

[1] Icelandic alcohol
[2] Other name for Brennivín
[3] [bad word]