The Most Offensive Song Ever

Howdy Ho.
Virgin Mary was sleepin'
When Angel Gabriel appeared
He said, "You are to be the virgin mother."
But Mary thought that was weird.
Mary said, "I'm not a virgin.
I blew a guy last year."
But then Gabriel said to Mary,
"My child, have no fear."

Oh, you can suck all the [bad word] you want
And still be a virgin, Mary.
You can suck all the [bad word] you want
And still not be considered flawed.
Although you went to town and sucked some [bad word] down,
You're still a virgin in the eyes of God.

There was no room at the inn
When Mary and Joseph did arrive.
But they were so very tired, you see,
And Mary had to offer a bribe.
Since she had no money,
How would she pay for a place to sleep?
Gabriel appeared to Mary
And told her not to weep.

'Cause you can suck all the [bad word] you want
And still be a virgin, Mary.
You can suck all the [bad word] you want
And still be the mother of Christ.
If there's no room at the inn, then it's not considered a sin
To suck some [bad word] to get a room for the night!

Then, three wise men did appear
Bearing gifts of myrrh and such
They said that they had followed a star
And missed a woman's touch
Mary thought she might pleasure them
But could not take them to bed.
But again, Gabriel appeared to her
And this is what he said:

"You can suck all the [bad word] you want
And still be a virgin, Mary.
You can suck all the [bad word] you want
Every one that hangs in the nation.
Fellatio ain't no sin. Go on and blow those Three Wise Men
And you'll still be a virgin 'cause there was no penetration!

So, you can suck all the [bad word] you want
And still be a virgin, Mary.
The donkey and the ox and the lambs
And even the little [bad word] boy
People will remember your name quick. They'll say &quot [bad word]  that [bad word] could suck a good [bad word] "
'Cause sucking [bad word] brings peace on Earth and joy.

[slowing] 'Cause sucking [bad word] brings peace on Earth and [normal] joy.
Mary, Mary, suck that [bad word]