[bad word] 

        Singer: Everybody clap your hands in the air and follow the Music Man!
        Singer:I am the music man, [bad word] from down your way, and I can play!
        Audience: What can you play?

Piano

        The Music Man: "I play the piano!"
        Sing "Pia-pia-pia-no, pia-no, pia-no; pia-pia-pia-no, pia-pia-no" to the tune
        Actions: act out playing chords on a piano
        Follow with [bad word] 

Trombone

        The Music Man: "I play the trombone!"
        Sing "oomp-pa-oomp-pa-ooomp-pa-paaaa, oomp-pa-paaaa, oomp-pa-paaa; oomp-pa-oomp-pa-oomp-pa-paaaa, oomp-pa-oomp-pa-pa" to the tune
        Actions: mime playing trombone
        Follow with piano and [bad word] 

Bagpipes

        The Music Man: "I play the bagpipes!"
        Sing "Scotland the Brave"
        Actions: mime playing bagpipes
        Follow with trombone, piano, and [bad word] 

Call and response section

        The Music Man: "Whoawhooaa!"
        Audience: "Whoawhooaa!"
        The Music Man: "Yeeaah-yeah-yeah-yeah"
        Audience: "Yeeaah-yeah-yeah-yeah"
        The Music Man: "Oggy oggy oggy!"
        Audience: "Oi oi oi!"
        The Music Man: "Oggy oggy oggy!"
        Audience: "Oi oi oi!"

Football section

        Sing theme from Match of the Day
        Actions: scarf waving
        Follow with bagpipes, trombone, piano, and [bad word] 

Dambusters

        The Music Man: "I play The Dam Busters!"
        Sing the theme to The Dam Busters
        Actions: with arms outstretched, like bomber aircraft; alternatively, make an "okay" sign with both hands and place over eyes (with palms touching cheeks, thumbs over eyebrows and the 3 loose fingers of each hand pointing down) in the manner of an aviator's goggles.
        Follow with football, bagpipes, trombone, piano, and [bad word] 

"Here We Go, Here We Go" Theme

        Sing: Here we go, here we go, here we go; Here we go, here we go, here we go; Here we go, here we go, here we go; Here we go, here we go, here we go; Here we go, here we go, here we go; Here we go, here we go, here we go; Here we go, here we go, here we go; Here we go, here we go, here we go; Here we go, here we go, here we go; Here we go, here we go, here we go....
        Actions: Scarf waving to "Here We Go"

        Singer: I am the Music man!
        Audience: Oi!