Baby iron cross my heart
You know I hope to die
If I ain't off the chart
From your normal average guy
Like some mad nitro meth
Kinda psychopath
I gotta laugh at death's
Meanass deadly wrath

Calling Dr. [bad word] 
Calling Dr. [bad word] 
Rock'n'roll emergency
Calling Dr. [bad word] 
Calling Dr. [bad word] 
Rock'n'roll M.D.

They call me Dr. [bad word] 
You might feel a little pinch
It's a diesel [bad word] 
Solid gold lead pipe cinch
Eyes as green as [bad word] 
Squirtin' acid from my tongue
 [bad word] with all the whozits
And my mainspring's done been [bad word] 

Calling Dr. [bad word] 
Calling Dr. [bad word] 
Rock'n'roll emergency
Calling Dr. [bad word] 
Calling Dr. [bad word] 
Rock'n'roll M.D.

Nitro-methane brainbats
Got their fangs in my vein
But medicine for acrobats
Alleviates the pain
Got to oversize sparkplugs
And a gover-mental warning
Take two weeks worth of [bad word] 
And call me in the morning

Calling Dr. [bad word] 
Calling Dr. [bad word] 
Rock'n'roll emergency
Calling Dr. [bad word] 
Calling Dr. [bad word] 
Rock'n'roll M.D.