If I could be a [bad word] for a day
I could live my life the free and easy way
I'd take from Uncle Sam and let the white man pay
If I could be a [bad word] for a day

Now for one whole day, a [bad word] I could be
The first thing I'd do is join the NAACP
And I'd let Fwyzee and Foo-May do my thinkin' for me
If I could be a [bad word] for a day

Now I wouldn't wanna work, 'cause I wouldn't have to
Guess what I'd do next, well, you shouldn't need a clue
I'd go down to social services like all the brothers do
If I could be a [bad word] for a day

Oh if I could be a [bad word] for a day
I could live my life the free and easy way
I'd take from Uncle Sam and let the white man pay
If I could be a [bad word] for a day

Now when I'd sit down in that office, the office of welfare
I'd get food stamps, a medical card, and free child care
For all the illegitimate kids that I've got scattered everywhere
If I could be a [bad word] for a day

Now I'd have plenty of time, so I'd hang out with a mob
And I'd consume a little dope, or find a good place to rob
Now that would make me self-employed and I wouldn't even need a job
If I could be a [bad word] for a day

Oh if I could be a [bad word] for a day
I could live my life the free and easy way
I'd take from Uncle Sam and let the white man pay
If I could be a [bad word] for a day

And when I'd need somethin' I'd steal it so I wouldn't have to buy it
And if the cops would apprehend me you know that I'd deny it
And I could call Jesse or Al, [bad word] and start a riot
If I could be a [bad word] for a day

But I can't be a [bad word]  and I don't really have to be
'Cause coon, let me tell ya, it's plain and simple to see
That if I was you for a day then I'd be taking from me
So I don't wanna be a [bad word] for a day

I don't wanna be a [bad word] for a day
I don't wanna live the free and easy way
I'll [bad word] long, and [bad word] hard, but that's okay
'Cause I'll never be a [bad word] for a day
No, I'll never be a [bad word] for a day