Well I came into a scolding wife a few short years ago
And ever since I lead a life of misery and woe
My wife she is a tyrant around the room and inn
I should sell her to the devil for a glass or two of gin

Sure I'll get up and go to work as mild as any man
And she'll get up and dress herself and go and have her dram
I never chance to say a word, it's well I know my due
She'll follow me with the fire shovel up and down the room

And if the devil would take her I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her I'd thank him for his pain
Though I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

When I get up at breakfast time she'll tap me on the head
when [bad word] home at dinner time I'll find her [bad word] in bed
When [bad word] home at supper time at patience I must stop
'Cause she drinks what's in the teapot and I must drink the slop

And if the devil would take her I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her I'd thank him for his pain
Though I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

Well one I asked me scolding wife if I could go to bed
She scarce gave me and hour on the pillow to lay my head
When like a roarin' lion she came bustin' down the door
She caught me by the middle and threw me naked on the floor

And if the devil would take her I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her I'd thank him for his pain
Though I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

Now me and [bad word] go to a public place
She'll search around the neighborhood until she finds my face
She'll hoist me up in ridicule before [bad word] Saying', "Petticoats is your master and forever more shall be!"

And if the devil would take her I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her I'd thank him for his pain
Though I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

And if the devil would take her I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her I'd thank him for his pain
Though I swear to God I'll hang myself
I swear to God I'll hang myself
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again