Dashing through the sand
with a bomb strapped to my back.
I have a nasty plan
for Christmas in Iraq.
I got through checkpoint A,
but not through checkpoint B.
That's when I got shot in the [bad word] by the US Military...
[it's not funny!]

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
Mine blew up you see.
Where are all the virgins
that Bin Laden promised me?
Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
U.S. soldiers shot me dead.
The only thing that I have left
is this towel up on my head.

I used to be a man,
but every time I cough,
thanks to Uncle Sam,
my nuts keep falling off.
My bombing days are done.
I need to find some work.
Perhaps it would be much safer
as a convenient store night clerk.

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
I think I got screwed.
Don't laugh at me because I'm dead
or I'll kill you...
I KILL YOU!