Bert:
Ain't it a glorious day?
Right as a mornin' in May
I feel like I could fly
'Ave you ever seen the grass so green?
Or a bluer sky?

Oh, it's a jolly 'oliday with Mary
Mary makes your 'eart so light!
When the day is gray and ordinary
Mary makes the sun shine bright!
Oh, 'appiness is bloomin' all around 'er
The daffodils are smilin' at the dove
When Mary 'olds your 'and you feel so grand
Your 'eart starts beatin' like a big brass band
It's a jolly 'oliday with Mary
No wonder that it's Mary that we love!
 [bad word] Oh, it's a jolly 'oliday with Mary
Mary makes your 'eart so light!
When the day is gray and ordinary
Mary makes the sun shine bright!
Oh, 'appiness is bloomin' all around 'er
The daffodils are smilin' at the dove
When Mary 'olds your 'and you feel so grand
Your 'eart starts beatin' like a big brass band
It's a jolly 'oliday with Mary
No wonder that it's Mary that we love!

[Interlude]

Mary Poppins:
Now then what'd be nice
We'll start with raspberry ice
And then some cakes and tea
Order what you will
There'll be no bill [bad word] 
Oh, it's a jolly holiday with you, Bert
Gentlemen like you are few
Though your just a diamond in the rough, Bert
Underneath your blood is blue!
You'd never think of pressing your advantage
Forbearance is the hallmark of your creed
lady needn't fear when you are near
Your sweet gentility is crystal clear!
Oh, it's a jolly holiday with you, Bert
jolly, jolly holiday with you!

Bert and [bad word] 
It's [bad word] that Mavis and Sybil 'ave ways that are winning
And [bad word] and Gwendolyn set your 'eart spinning
Phoebe's delightful, Maude is disarming
Janice, Felicia, Lydia - charming
Cynthia's dashing, Vivian's sweet
Stephanie's smashing, Priscilla a treat
Veronica, Millicent, Agnes, and Jane [bad word]  time and again
Drocas and Phyllis and Glynis are sorts
I'll agree are three jolly good sports
But cream of the crop, tip of the top
It's Mary Poppins, and there we stop!