Says my old one to your old one
"Will [bad word] to the Waxies' dargle?"
Says your old one to my old one,
"Sure, I haven't got a farthing.
I've just been down to Monto town
To see old Bill McArdle
But he wouldn't give me half a crown
For to go to the Waxies' dargle."
 [bad word] "What will ye have? Will ye have a pint?"
"I'll have a pint with you, sir."
And if one of us doesn't order soon
We'll be thrown out of the boozer.

Says my old one to your old one
"Will [bad word] to the Galway Races?"
Says your old one to my old one,
"With the price of my aul' lad's braces.
I went down to Capel Street
To the Jew-man moneylenders
But they wouldn't give me a couple of bob on
My old lad's red suspenders."

Says my old one to your old one
"We have no beef nor mutton
But if we go down to Monto town
We might get a drink for nothing."
Here's a nice piece of advice
I got from an old fishmonger:
"When food is scarce and you see the hearse
You'll know you died of hunger.