Now the show is done
I hope that you had gut-trembling or something resembling fun
And if you watch this thing alone
You probably didn’t laugh, but maybe a few times you exhaled out of your nose
But if you hated it, that’s fair
But either way, could you find a little more time for a parting questionnaire?

On a scale from one to zero, are you happy?
‘Cause you’re on your own from here, so are you happy?
I’m open to suggestions, are you happy?
But what the [bad word] kind of question is "I happy?"

I really wanna try to get happy
And I think that I could get it if I didn’t always
Panic every time I’m unhappy like
I’m owed some life
Where I’m always, like, happy
Which is stupid ‘cause I wouldn’t even want it if I got it
Wait, oh god, my dad was right

So if you know or ever knew how to be happy
On a scale from one to two now, are you happy?
You’re everything you hated, are you happy?
Hey, look Ma, I made it, are you happy?