Can I say my [bad word] 
(*Name of Town*) Can I say my [bad word] 
I've got lots of [bad word] to say
I've got lots of [bad word] to say
I can't fit my hand inside a pringle can
I have a huge amount of trouble
 [bad word] my hand inside a pringle can
I can get my hand like four inches in
But then I have to tilt the can into my mouth
But then a bunch of [bad word] have accumulated at the bottom of the can
So they all go spilling onto my face
What I'm trying to say is that the diameter
Of pringle cans are way too small
I'll say it again
The diameter of a pringle can is way too small
Two raidiuses of a pringle can is way too small
If you feel me, put your hands up [bad word] on!
If you feel me, put your hands up
Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside a pringle can
Those hands are too big to fit inside a pringle can
Your hands are too big to fit inside a pringle can
You think you can, I know you can
Pringles!
Listen to the people, I am sure ninety percent of [bad word] letters you get
Are about the [bad word] width of your cans
We're not animals
Okay, I've overdone the pringles thing
Sorry
I want to have a daughter
I want to have a daughter
So I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands
Into pringle cans
Yes, I'm still on the pringle cans thing!
I will move on, alright?
But that is priority numbero uno
I don't go to the gym
Because I'm self concious about my body
But I'm self concious about my body because I don't go to the gym
Isn't that- that's irony
Irony can be painful
Alright, let's do this
Let's do this!
I went to Chipotle
I went to Chipotle
And I got myself a chicken burrito
I went down the line, and I got all these ingredients
And at the end of the line
The guy tried to wrap the burrito
But half of the [bad word] inside the burrito spilled out
I was like, dude you should have warned me!
You're a burrito expert
You should have told me halfway through!
Hey, man. You might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here
Do you [bad word] think I want a messy burrito?
No one wants a messy burrito
The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained
Within the confines of the tortilla
I wouldn't have gotten half of the [bad word] if I knew it wasn't gonna fit inside it! Alright?
I wouldn't of got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't of got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't of got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't have got
Half of it
I'm okay with small mistakes
If you've got no more chicken, I'll take pork
But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork
I wouldn't of got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't of got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't of got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't have got half of it right
Half of it right
Half of it right
Half of it right now
I think it's time I
Think it's time I think we'll break it down

Put the lotion in the basket
No, they're too young
I can sit here and pretend
Like my biggest problems are
Pringle cans
And burritos
But the [bad word] is, my biggest problem is you
I want to please you
But I want to stay [bad word] to myself
I want to give you the night out that you deserve
But I want to say what I think
And not care what you think about it
Part of me loves you
Part of me hates you
Part of me needs you
Part of me fears you
And I don't think that I can handle this right now
I don't think that I can handle this right now
I don't think that I can handle this right now

I don't think that I can handle this right now. [x2]
They don't even know the half of this right now
Look at them, they're just staring at me
 [bad word] and watch the
Skinny kid with a
Steadily declining mental health
And laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself

I don't think that I can handle this right now. [x2]
They don't even know the half of this right now
They don't even know the half of it
But I know I'm not a doctor
I'm a [bad word] who puts
On a silly show
So I should probably just shut up
And do my job
So here I go

I wouldn't of got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't of got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't of got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit
I wouldn't of got half
You can tell them anything if
You just make it funny
Make it rhyme
If they still don't understand you
Then you [bad word] it one more time

I don't think that I can handle this right now. [x2]
If you think that I can handle this right now
Then you don't even know the half of this right now
Right now
Now
Handle this right
Handle this right
Handle this right now