There's a destination a little up the road
From the habitations and the towns we know
place we saw the lights turn low
The jig-saw jazz and the get-fresh flow

Pulling out jives and jamboree handouts
Two turntables and a microphone
Bottles and cans just clap your hands
Just clap your hands

Where it's at!
I got two turntables and a microphone
Where it's at!
I got two turntables and a microphone
Where it's at!
I got two turntables and a microphone
Where it's at!
[Robot vocal effect:]
I got two turntables and a microphone

(Take me home with my elevator bones!)
(That was a good [bad word] break)

Pick yourself up off the side of the road
With your elevator bones
And your whip-flash tones
Members only hyponotizers
Move through the room like ambulance drivers
Shine your shoes with your microphone blues
Hirsute with your parachute [bad word] 
Passing the dutchie from coast to coast
Let my man Ken Wilson (Rock the most)

Where it's at!
I got two turntables and a microphone
Where it's at!
I got two turntables and a microphone

[Man speaking]:
("What about those who swing both ways? AC-DC's?")

Let's make it out baby...

Two turntables and a microphone
Two turntables and a microphone
Two turntables and a microphone
Two turntables and a microphone
Two turntables and a microphone
Two turntables and a microphone

Where it's at!
I got two turntables and a microphone
Where it's at!
I got two turntables and a microphone

Oh, dear me.
Make-out City's a two-horse town
[Girl speaking]:
("That's beautiful, Dad.")

(Got my microphone....)
There's a destination a little up the road
From the habitations and the towns we know
place we saw the lights turn low
The jig-saw jazz and the get-fresh flow

Pulling out jives and jamboree handouts
Two turntables and a microphone
Bottles and cans and just clap your hands
And just clap your hands

Where it's at!
I got two turntables and a microphone
Where it's at!
I got two turntables and a microphone

I got plastic on my mind
(Let's make it out, baby)
yeah, yeah, yeah
Let's make it out, baby
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Telephone plastic baby
Ah, so good
Oh, yeah
Let's play good