On the good ship Venus 
By Christ you should have seen us 
The figurehead was a [bad word] in bed 
Sucking a dead man's [bad word] 

The captain's name was Lugger 
By Christ he was a bugger 
He wasn't fit to shovel [bad word] 
From one ship to another 

And the second mate was Andy 
By Christ he had a dandy 
Till they [bad word] his [bad word] on a jagged rock 
For cumming in the brandy 

The third mate's name was Morgan 
By God he was a gorgon 
From half past eight he played till late 
Upon the captain's organ 

The captain's wife was Mabel 
And by God was she able 
To give the crew their daily [bad word] 
Upon the galley table 

The captain's daughter Charlotte 
Was born and bred a harlot 
Her thighs at night were lily white 
By morning they were scarlet 

The cabin boy was Kipper 
By Christ he was a nipper 
He stuffed his [bad word] with broken glass 
And circumcised the skipper 

The captain's lovely daughter 
Liked swimming in the water 
Delighted squeals came when some eels 
Found her ual quarters 

The cook his name was Freeman 
And he was a dirty demon 
And he fed the crew on [bad word] stew 
And hymens fried in [bad word] 

And the ship's dog was called Rover 
And we turned the poor thing over 
And ground and ground that faithful hound 
From Teneriff to Dover 

When we reached our station 
Through skillful navigation 
The ship got sunk in a wave of spunk 
From too much fornication 

On the good ship Venus 
By Christ you should have seen us 
The figurehead was a [bad word] in bed 
Sucking a dead man's [bad word]