My name is Link y'all Im straight outta [bad word] 
Been on the force of good since 1986. Old school.
 I'm bringin you a laid back summertime jam
 Hold on a minute Link Hey what's up Old Man? 
I see that you're embarking on another epic quest
 You're gonna use your Ocarina to rescue the Princess 
But you'll need a magic weapon that'll never ever miss
 It's dangerous to go alone take this
 Oh thanks old man that is really very nice
 I can always count on you for help and friendly advice
 Though I've never seen a sword of quite that shape or size
 Oh God that's not a sword it's your [bad word] in disguise 
Yes I can't lie I have painted my shween
 Now grab your destiny if you know what I mean 
Wait a minute Link don't leave the cave, where do you think you're going
 This is a great chance to fondle old [bad word] that you're blowing 
That was weird but whatever there is no time to lose
 I've gotta to warp right now to Zelda in this chilled out groove
 Wait this isn't Ganon's lair, I'm in Liberty City
 This place looks just like Philadelphia but even more [bad word] 
 I'm at the corner of Dead Cop and Prostitute junction
 Something in my Ocarina must have gone and malfunctioned
 I gotta fix it quickly, there is justice to do
 Hold on a minute Link
 Old man, is that you?
 This is a place you c
an't survive with just your sword and your wits It's dangerous to go alone. Take this!
 Well that's really kind of...that's your wrinkled [bad word] again
 Look I know I wear a tunic, but I'm not into men
 Don't be that way [bad word]  let me introduce you
 To my three best friends: Mr. Johnson and the juice crew
 If you see the Princess Zelda, well you know you're gonna grab her
 So why don't you try [bad word] grab my inflatable poo jabber? 
OH MY GOD!