I remember one cold day in December
In a snowball fight I won a hotdog van
I don’t like cooking so I bought an ice cream blender
and threw away the stove and the pots and pans

So then I fixed and mixed my tricks of special spices
with a smashing [bad word] of burgers, fish and chips
Then I had my meaty [bad word] ices
with it’s very own exotic tartan dip
 [bad word] 

I am the hokey-pokey man
The hokey-pokey man
hokey-pokey man
From the hokey-pokey clan
The hokey-pokey man
Driving in my van
The hokey-pokey-hokey-pokey-hokey-pokey-hokey-
pokey man

You should try my haggis cheeze, it’s so delicious
and my chocolate fishy mint is just the best
Why is no one screaming for my ice cream
My vanilla flavoured squid or chicken breast

I don’t worry cos I’ve found the answer
You know this stuff can be sold for cats and dogs
Last week I had an order for some hamsters
Strangely all pets seem to like it, even frogs
 [bad word] 3