Garden Warfare It might sound quite absurd 
The Plants and Zombies Are rising from the Earth 
They all look goofy If that's what you prefer 
But don't forget that It's the end of the world

I'm your Captain I demand respect 
Avast me hearties, all hands on deck 
When I man the cannon, every plant will panic 
One barrel blast and I'll send 'em scramblin' 
pirate's always got his Parrot Pal 
With a [bad word] spyglass, I'll shoot ye down 
See my pistol? She's a gleaming beauty 
I've got a peg leg but I still kick booty

Have a glass of OJ, you look thirsty 
Sounds like you got a bad case of scurvy 
I'm cutting through the horde with my orange beam 
Got an EMPeach to wreck your machines 
Now clear the path, cuz I'm rollin' in 
Knock you on your [bad word] like a bowlin' pin 
This ain't Vitamin that I'm dealin out 
After I get my bounty, I'll be peelin' out

Garden Warfare It might sound quite absurd 
The Plants and Zombies Are rising from the Earth 
They all look goofy If that's what you prefer 
But don't forget that It's the end of the world

To be a zombie, oh what a shame 
I'm a rose by any other name 
[bad word] sorceress of the organic sort 
But my magic thistles are filled with thorns 
Put you in a time snare, and watch you squirm 
Before I put you back under the dirt with worms 
Turn you into a goat, so you don't ba-ah-ah-other me
Look Clark Kent got a lobotomy

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Super Brainz 
That's stupid, you don't even use the Cape 
Hey if I'm the hero, you're the bad guy
See my jumpsuit? [bad word] is that tight 
Don't make me tell you where I'll put my boot 
I'll beat you to a pulp and cut your roots 
I'm flyin' high, shooting super beams 
I'm in every female teenage zombie's dreams

Garden Warfare It might sound quite absurd 
The Plants and Zombies Are rising from the Earth 
They all look goofy If that's what you prefer 
But don't forget that It's the end of the world

Kernel [bad word] #39; in hot 
You'd better be ready for my butter barrage 
With a jumping husk hop and a well-aimed shuck shot 
You wouldn't believe I'm only made of one stalk 
See the trickshots that I'm poppin' off 
I have a hard time keeping it on the cob 
I'll give you a show, so grab your popcorn 
I just ran out, well I've got a lot more

You're the worst, what a corny verse 
Shut up, you dwarf! Being short can work 
Size doesn't matter, ask my blasters 
I'll crash this party like a bad disaster  [bad word] get a load of my brand new toy
Standby Z-mech's been deployed 
Launching missiles while I stomp around 
Hey which one of us is the smallest now

Garden Warfare It might sound quite absurd 
The Plants and Zombies Are rising from the Earth 
They all look goofy If that's what you prefer 
But don't forget that It's the end of the world