[eminem]
 May I have your attention please? 
 May I have your attention please? 
 Will the real slim shady please stand up? 
 I repeat, will the real slim shady please stand up? 
 We’re gonna have a problem here..

 Y’all act like you never seen a white person before
 Jaws all on the floor like pam, like tommy just burst in the
 door
 And started whoopin her [bad word] worse than before
 They first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (ahh!)
 It’s the return of the... "ah, wait, no way, you’re
 kidding,
 He didn’t just say what I think he did, did he? "
 And dr. dre said... nothing you idiots!
 Dr. dre’s dead, he’s locked in my basement! (ha-ha!)
 Feminist women love eminem {*vocal turntable:
 Chigga chigga chigga* "slim shady, I’m sick of him
 Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
 Flippin the you-know-who," "yeah, but he’s so cute
 though!"
 Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
 But no worse, than what’s goin on in your parents’ bedrooms
 Sometimes, I wanna get on tv and just let loose, but can’t
 But it’s cool for tom green to hump a dead moose
 "my bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
 And if I’m lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
 And that’s the message that we deliver to little kids
 And expect them not to know what a woman’s clitoris is
 Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
 By the time they hit fourth grade
 They got the discovery channel don’t they? 
 "we ain’t nothing but mammals.." well, some of us
 cannibals
 Who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*slurp*
 But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
 Then there’s no reason that a man and another man can’t
 elope
 {*ewww!* but if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
 Women wave your pantyhose, sing the [bad word] and it goes

 [bad word]  eminem (repeat 2x)

 I’m slim shady, yes I’m the real shady
 All you other slim shadys are just imitating
 So won’t the real slim shady please stand up,
 Please stand up, please stand up? 

 [eminem]
 Will smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to sell his
 records;
 Well I do, so [bad word] him and [bad word] you too!
 You think I give a [bad word] about a grammy? 
 Half of you critics can’t even stomach me, let alone stand
 me
 "but slim, what if you win, wouldn’t it be weird?
 "
 Why? so you guys could just lie to get me here? 
 So you can, sit me here next to britney spears? 
 [bad word]  christina aguilera better switch me chairs
 So I can sit next to carson daly and fred durst
 And hear ’em argue over who she gave head to first
 You little [bad word]  put me on blast on mtv
 "yeah, he’s cute, but I think he’s married to kim,
 hee-hee!"
 I should download her audio on mp3
 And show the whole world how you gave eminem vd {*ahhh!*
 I’m sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is
 annoy me
 So I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*
 And there’s a million of us just like me
 Who cuss like me; who just don’t give a [bad word] like me
 Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
 And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

 [bad word] 

 [eminem]
 I’m like a head trip to listen to, cause I’m only givin you
 Things you joke about with your friends inside your living
 room
 The only difference is I got the balls to say it
 In front of y’all and I don’t gotta be false or sugarcoated
 at all
 I just get on the mic and spit it
 And whether you like to admit it {*err* I just [bad word] it
 Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
 Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like
 valiums
 It’s funny; cause at the rate I’m goin when I’m thirty
 I’ll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
 Pinchin nurses asses when I’m jackin off with jergens
 And I’m jerkin but this whole bag of viagra isn’t working
 And every single person is a slim shady lurkin
 He could be workin at burger king, spittin on your onion
 rings
 {*hach* or in the parkin lot, circling
 Screaming "i don’t give a [bad word] #33;"
 With his windows down and his system up
 So, will the real shady please stand up? 
 And put one of those fingers on each hand up? 
 And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
 And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? 

 [bad word] 2x

 [eminem]
 Ha ha
 Guess there’s a slim shady in all of us
 [bad word] it, let’s all stand up