He tried photography
(But he was no good)
He tried filmmaking
(But he was Ed Wood)
He worked in retail
(But was not persistent)
Was in retail
(Made shop assistant)
He joined a band
(But he gave it away cause)
After three weeks
(They hadn't been famous)
But then this voice came to him from afar
"You shall be Jesus Barista Superstar!"

Jesus! (x8)
He's so popular
Jesus Barista Superstar

Go ask the regulars
Why [bad word] from near and far
Got that certain je ne sais quoi
He's wunderbar
He's J Superstar!

From a hole in the wall
(Near a railway station)
He built up a messianic
(Reputation)
From all points on the globe
(They flock to his ghetto)
Just to see him turn water into ristretto

The reviews were plenty
 [bad word] 
His crema was the crema
(Of the cognoscenti)
And when he started preaching to his
(Acolytes)
He was the way the [bad word] and the light

Jesus! (x8)
He's just spectacular
Jesus Barista Superstar

He said
"Love your neighbor, love your enemies
large Starbucks, even Gloria Jean's
For Man cannot live by beans alone"
But then his bottom line was [bad word] by Nespresso