here's a new dance craze
that's sweeping the nation
it's called the toxic waltz
and it's causing devastation
you're jumping up and down
like a psycho circus clown
slamming with waltzers
all the way around
you get caught up in the whip
you're thrown into a flip
you aim for someone's head
to stain the floor red
give someone a kick
to prove you're [bad word] sick
bounce back from some blows
and [bad word] out your nose

flailing round and round
and you're injury bound
waltz it up
the pit is it
you can take your chance
on this rough new dance
if you dare
to dive in
there are some that try
but they won't survive
they don't hit
cause they're wimps
and this exercise
helps you [bad word] 
with us
exodus

everybody's doin' the toxic waltz
kick your friend in the head and have a ball [bad word] on and do the toxic waltz
and slam your partner against the wall
everybody's doin' the toxic waltz
good friendly violent fun in store for all
get up off your [bad word] and toxic waltz
if you hit the floor you can always crawl

used to do the monkey
but now it's not cool
the twist and mash potato
are no exception to [bad word] 
so don't be a dunce
and dance like [bad word] 
just throw your elbows
with good friendly violent fun
don't start to cry
if you get a black eye
just dive back in
and give another try
but too much action
may leave you in traction
so you better get insurance
no matter your endurance

flailing round and round
and you're injury bound
waltz it up
the pit is it
you can take your chance
on this rough new dance
if you dare
to dive in
there are some that try
but they won't survive
they don't hit
cause they're wimps
and this exercise
helps you [bad word] 
with us
exodus

everybody's doin' the toxic waltz
kick your friend in the head and have a ball [bad word] on and do the toxic waltz
and slam your partner against the wall
everybody's doin' the toxic waltz
good friendly violent fun in store for all
get up off your [bad word] and toxic waltz
if you hit the floor you can always crawl

get up on your feet
don't look so obsolete
and thrash like an athlete
don't sit there on your [bad word] 
don't look like you've got too much class
you'll be harassed
you know we guarantee
this is the key
so rage or get the third degree
you begin frontal assaults
and start your somersaults
and do the toxic waltz
do the toxic waltz