INTRO:

Aaahhhh…
Oh, it's music to my ears… oh man!
How can I describe the way I feel? [bad word] great man!
Ok, let me see…
How can I begin?

VERSE 1:

Locked in Mariah's wine cellar all I had for lunch
Was red wine, more red wine and captain [bad word] Red wine for breakfast and for [bad word] And to soak it up an in-between snack crackers to munch
Mariah what ever happened to us?
Why did we have to break up?
All I asked for was a glass of punch
You see I never really asked for much I can't imagine what's
Goin through your mind after such
nasty break-up with that Latin hunk
Louis Miguel, Nick Cannon better back the [bad word] up
I'm not playin’ I want her back you punk
This is Hello Kitty bedspread satin funk
Mixed with Egyptian with the little rappin punk
Zappin Eric Clapton Shaq brings out da [bad word] And yeah baby, I want another crack at ya
You can beat me with any spatula that you want
I mean I really want ya bad ya [bad word] Nick you had your fun [bad word] to kick ya in your sack of junk
Man I could use a fresh batch of blood
So prepare your vernacular for Dracular acupuncture
 [bad word] 

Bagpipes from baghdad
When will it ever cease
For Pete's sakes she's crazy to say the least
Bagpipes from baghdad
What's goin through my mind
Half the time when I rhyme we're blowin up like
Bagpipes from baghdad
Someone turn the vacancy sign on
Cause i'm gone, blowing up like
Bagpipes from baghdad [bad word] the streets and mack
Like a madman holdin a glad bag

VERSE 2:

You can be a permanent fixture in my lyrical mixture
I'm the miracle whip, a trickster
My sig-nature sound when a tube of lipstick's around
I'm bound to put it on in an instant wow man
What an ensemble, what an assortment of PHARMA- 
Ceuticals this beautiful pill does to my palma
Cuticles get residue just from touchin the bottle
Never knew I could remind me so much of my momma
I'll cut ya like Dahmer, pull the butcher knife on ya
The size of a sword boy i'm like the [bad [bad word] on ya
Get it stuck in your cornea, nice knowin ya Norman
Your so [bad word] annoyin, drop the shovel boy
You don't know what the [bad word] your doin
I ain't playin no [bad word] more
Nick Cannon you prick I wish you luck with the [bad word] [bad word] Every minute there's a sucker born, snuck up on
Maliki made the [bad word] suck on a shuck of corn 
Shuck of, shucka corn, shucka corn
Hit Jason in the face with a hockey puck and tell em it's [bad word] on
Man what the [bad word] are ya doin [bad word] over the snowblower with the lawnmower
Blowin your bagpipes from baghdad
 [bad word] Bagpipes from baghdad
When will it ever cease
For Pete's sakes she's crazy to say the least
Bagpipes from baghdad
What's goin through my mind
Half the time when I rhyme we're blowin up like
Bagpipes from baghdad
Someone turn the vacancy sign on
Cause i'm gone, blowing up like
Bagpipes from baghdad [bad word] the streets and mack
Like a madman holdin a glad bag

VERSE 3:

In the bed with two brain dead [bad word] vegetables
I bet you they [bad word] heteroual
Nothing will stop me from molestin’ you [bad word] [bad word]  you til’ your breast nipple flesh tickles my [bad word] Is what they said to the two conjoined twins
How's it going girlfriends, you need a boyfriend
You need some ointment, just set up an appointment
Who's gonna see the doctor first, we'll do a coin flip
I just got my one-year sobriety coin chip
When the bad get goin, how bad does the going get
Baby you shouldn't have any [bad word] groins wit
Each other especially when you're joined at the hip
I'm going to get the needle and thread from the sewing kit
An attempt to separate 'em and stitch 'em back at the loin [bad word] Lure the little boy with the chocolate chips ahoy! chi