[Alvin, speaking]
Some time ago,
I saw the need for folks to laugh and sing.
The world was pretty serious,
I could lighten up some things.
So I put on this red jersey,
With a cheerful yellow "A."
I put a smile on people's faces,
And brightened up their day.

[Alvin, singing]
But just because I make you laugh,
That don't mean I'm just a loon!
I may be made of… Ink and paint,
But I ain't no dang cartoon!

[Male [bad word] 
Cartoon…
He ain't no dang cartoon.

[Alvin, speaking]
My face had been on plates and cups,
Bed sheets, a babies potties,
PJ's, lunch pails,
Shoes and gowns,
From nice to semi-gaudy.

But that don't mean I'm just a joke,
And don't deserve respect.
I may have a tail and be covered with fur,
But I ain't nobody's pet.

[Alvin, singing]
Just because I make you laugh,
That don't mean I'm just a loon!
I may be made of… Ink and paint,
But I ain't no dang cartoon!

[Male [bad word] 
Cartoon…
He ain't no dang cartoon.

[Alvin, speaking]
I know I have a squeaky voice,
I've learned to live with that.
And if I had to be a rodent,
Thank God I'm not a rat!

I give my pint of paint a week,
And pay my taxes too.
And help support a charity,
For homeless Looney Tunes.

[Alvin, singing]
I hold my little song,
Ain't just howlin' at the moon!
I may be made of… Ink and paint,
But I ain't no dang cartoon!

[Male [bad word] 
Cartoon…
He ain't no dang cartoon.

[Alvin, speaking]
I know I'm in [bad word] 
They laughed at Einstein too.
Columbus was another one,
And Bishop Tutu too.

So when you see the yellow "A,"
And big red cap appear,
Say "Howdy Mister Alvin!"
And you better be sincere!

[Alvin, singing]
Just because I make you laugh,
Don't mean I'm just a loon!
I may be made of… Ink and paint,
But I ain't no dang cartoon!
No, I ain't no dang cartoon!
No, sir!