Mitt Romney:
I'm not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts
I'm rich! I've got fat stacks in super packs
We all know what went down in that 2008 election
You're a decent politician with a [bad word] You're all Barack and no bite, with no change and we're all still hoping
That you'll shut your mouth, but like Guantanamo Bay they're both open
You're from the windy city, where you're looking pretty with your blowhards [bad word] January, you'll be left evicted and with no job
Raw rhymes stronger than my jawline when I spit a phrase
Knocking you harder than front doors in my ol' mission days
You see this silver spoon, this the mass out of debt
It took you four years to drop unemployment down below 8%!
You feel that Barry? You're old news, everyone's having doubts
And your rhymes are as weak as this economy that you've done nothing about
Call me a vicious business man cause Romney's stealing this race
I'll go Bain Capital on your donkey [bad word]  [bad word] your face!

Barack Obama:
They say your father was a great man, you must be what's left
Need to stop hatin' on [bad word]  let 'em teach you how to dress
You've got the momma genes, and a Mister Fantastic face
So rich and white it's like [bad word] against a cheesecake!
Republicans need a puppet and you fit
Got their hands so far up your rear, call you Mitt!
I'm the head of state, you're like a head of cabbage
'Bout to get smacked by my stimulus package
You're a bad man with no chance, you can't even touch me
I got four more years (two terms) in the White House, just [bad word] me
I hoped you saved your best rhymes for the second half
Cause right now, I'm 47% through kicking your [bad word] 

Mitt Romney:
Whatever, that 40% thing got you real mad
What, did it remind you how many decent parents you had?

Barack Obama:
Uh, look, I respect our religions, uh, but it might get crazy
If the White House has a first, second, and a third lady!

Mitt Romney:
Ha! Don't bring up wives, man! What are you doing?
You got hitched to the female version of Patrick Ewing!

Barack Obama:
Uh, let me be clear, uh, don't get it twisted
We'll see how pretty your face is after my fist has kissed it

Mitt Romney:
Ahhuuhhhaa... you're a [bad word] 
Barack Obama:
Oh yeah? We'll you're stupid

Mitt Romney:
You're stupid!

Barack Obama:
Nuh-uh!

Mitt Romney:
EERRGGG!

Barack Obama:
EEEERRRR!

CAAAWWW!

Abraham Lincoln:
By the power invested in me by this giant bald bird
The President shall not be the shiniest of two turds!
You, I wanna like you, don't talk about change, just do it!
I fought for what was on my brain until a bullet went through it!
And you, moneybag, you're a pancake, you're flip-flopity!
It's a country, not [bad word]  you got played like Monopoly!
I'll probably reach across the aisle and [bad word] smack you as equals!
Of the people, by the people, for the people
Eagle!