Baby we've been together for a long, long time
You get home from work and then we just turn out the lights
Lately I've been dreaming you in leather, me in lace
Let's put up the teddy bears, and get out the whips and chains

Give me weed instead of roses
Bring me whiskey instead of wine
Every puff, every shot, you're looking better all the time
I don't need a card from Hallmark
Box of candy, heaven knows
Give me weed instead of roses
Let's see where it goes

Honey you don't have to worry,
There ain't no one else for me
Lately we have fallen under the same routine
I ain't getting any younger, oh but you don't seem to care
Let's trade in the boxers for some y underwear

Give me weed instead of roses
Give me whiskey instead of wine
Every puff, every shot, you're looking better all the time
I don't need a card from Hallmark
Box of candy, heaven knows
Give me weed instead of roses
Let's see where it goes

Let's send the kids to grandma,
And call in sick to work
Put on some heavy metal,
Rip the phone off of the hook
Go call your no good brother,
We both know what he's been growing
I'll be waiting with the whipped cream
And baby let's get going

Give me weed instead of roses
Give me whiskey instead of wine
Every puff, every shot, you're looking better all the time
I don't need a card from Hallmark
Box of candy, heaven knows
Give me weed instead of roses
Let's see where it goes

You pull out the Polaroid
And I'll strike a couple poses
Oh let's get a little wild
Bring me weed instead of roses