Sitting in the living room, staring at the decorations
Feels so out of place in this house
Sucking on a toffee apple, munching on some pumpkin pie
Seems so out of place in his mouth
Such [bad word] cuisine, he eats a tangerine to clean his palate
Someone get that man a mince pie, before he starts to cry
Ding dong merrily on high

What does Santa Claus do for Halloween
Oh, woah oh
What does Santa Claus do for Halloween

Trick or [bad word] ‘a knocking
At saint Nicolas’ door, but he ain’t got no candy for them
Trick or treaters getting angry, throwing eggs at Santa’s door
But he tells them they’ll be [bad word] December 24
This holiday it makes no sense, no Gold no Myrrh no Frankincense
Baby Jesus would be taking offense
Santa’s slouching by the fire in his jovial attire
He collapses to his knees, won’t somebody help him please?

What does Santa Claus do for Halloween
Oh, woah oh
What does Santa Claus do for Halloween
What does Santa Claus do for Halloween
Oh, woah oh
What does Santa Claus do for Halloween

And he lights a Jack-o-lantern, and he throws it in the road
And the kids all start a screaming as the lantern does explode
But the parents of those kiddies hold old Santa to the ground
Now saint Nick is quite surrounded and halloween is safe and sound

What does Santa Claus do for Halloween
Oh, woah oh
What does Santa Claus do for Halloween
What does Santa Claus do for Halloween
Oh, woah oh
What does Santa Claus do for Halloween