i'd be lying if I said I [bad word] unscathed 
I might be proving you right with my silence or my retaliation 
would I be letting you win in my non reaction? 
how would I explain? 
how would I explain this to my children if I had them? 
because I can't not 
because I can't not 
because I can't afford to be misread one more time 
would it be whining if I said I needed a hug? 
would you feel slighted if I said your love's not enough? 
and how can [bad word]  
and how can [bad word] when I'm the one that reaches for this? 
because I can't not 
because I can't not 
because I cannot walk without my [bad word] 
because I can't not 
because I can't not 
because I can't help wonder why you ask me 
to all the unheard wisdom in the school yard 
you think you're the right ones 
you swear you're the charmed ones I'm sure 
but how can you go on with such conviction? 
who do you think you are when you question me? 
because we can't not 
because we can't not 
because we can't help laugh at underestimations 
because we can't not 
because we can't not 
because we can't afford to be misled one more time 
because we can't not 
because we can't not 
because we cannot help without your willingness 
why do you affect me? why do you affect me still? 
why do you hinder me? why do you hinder me still? 
why do you unnerve me? why do you unnerve me still? 
why do you trigger me? why do you trigger me still?