Leroy, boy, is that you?
I thought your post-hangin' days were through,
Sunk-in eyes and full of sighs,
Tell no lies, you get wise,
I tell you now we're gonna pull you through,
There's only one thing left that we can do.

We gotta get you a woman,
It's like nothin' else to make you feel sure you're alive.
We gotta get you a woman,
We better get walkin', we're wastin' time talkin' now.

Leroy, boy, you're my friend
You say how and I'll say when [bad word] and meet me down the street
Take a seat, it's my treat
You may not ever get this chance again
That empty feeling's just about to end.

Talkin' 'bout life and what it means to you,
It don't mean nothin' if it [bad word] through
I got one thing to say, you know it's [bad word] 
You got to find some time to get this thing together.

Talkin' 'bout things about that special one
They may be stupid but they sure are fun
I'll give it to you while we're on [bad word] 
Because we ain't got time to get this thing together, 'cause we
Got to get together with a woman who has been around,
One who knows better than to let you down,
Let's hope there's still one left in this whole town,
And that she'll take some time to get this thing together.

We gotta get you a woman
And when we're through with you,
We'll get me one too.