existential crisis / just had an existential crisis
there's no good reason why i exist
i feel so strange and lifeless
existential crisis / just had an existential crisis
there's no good reason why i exist
it isn't even clear what life is

just had a crisis!
it was existential!
feel like my existence is inconsequential!
don't think there's such a thing as a soul!
and after you die, there's no place you go.

we're just a bunch of apes thrown' hissy fits
on a little blue ball in a huge abyss
we made a couple of toys and some moral codes
but we'll lose them all forever when the sun explodes.

just saw a girl walkin' down the street
she was singing' a tune, and looking' so sweet
i told her she was nothing but a bag of meat
some bones, DNA, and a pair of fee-e-e-e-eet
very next day i went to work
in retrospect, i kind of acted like a jerk
i told the boss i was gonna end it all
and that was in the middle of a conference call!

told the boss! gonna end it all! in the middle of a conference call!
in the middle of a conference call.

we're just feeling totally overwhelmed.
we're all gonna die, and everything we've ever said, seen, thought, loved, touched, or created, is also doomed to eventual [bad word] 
doo-wah.
every record of our existence will be obliterated by the progress of time.
the notion of an afterlife seems absurd—a vicious mockery of our mortal [bad word] 
shooby doop doop.
screaming hollow emptiness is all we see in the eyes of children.
in their burbling laughter, all we can hear is the whistling of the eternal void.
scoobly bop! hobby hop! doobly doobly doo.
life is nothing but the shadow of death.
deebity deep! skeebity skeep! beep boop bam!
no one will have  with us!!
doo-wa-a-a-a-ah.