So up rolls a riot van
And sparks excitement in the boys
But the policemen look annoyed
Perhaps these are ones they should avoid

Got a chase last night
From men with [bad word] dressed in hats
We didn't do that much wrong
Still ran away though for the laugh
Just for the laugh
And please just stop talking
Cause they won't find us if you do
Oh those silly boys in blue
Well they won't catch me and you

Have you been drinking, son
You don't look old enough to me
I'm sorry, officer
Is there a certain age you're supposed to be
Cause nobody told me

And up rolls the riot van
And these lads just wind the coppers up
They ask why they don't catch proper crooks
They get their address and their names took
But they couldn't care less

Thrown in a riot van
And all the coppers kicked him in
And there was no way he could win
Just had to take it on the chin