Music and Lyrics by Joss Whedon
Performed by Felicia Day

WHEN I FIRST MEET HAMMER I STUMBLE AND STAMMER
‘CAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT SAYS TO DO IN THE SCRIPT
BUT WHENEVER I WOULD PRACTICE THAT WAS JUST AND ACT THIS
IS ALL SO REAL – HE’S SO WELL EQUIPPED
FALLING INTO NATHAN’S EYES IS EASY
I DON’T EVEN REALIZE HE’S CHEESY
‘CAUSE JEEZ HE’S SO GREAT
WAIT

BUT IT’S NOT ABOUT NATE
GOTTA CONCENTRATE
‘CAUSE I’M LOOKING FOR INTERNAL [bad word] AND NOT DATE
NO IT’S NOT ABOUT NATE
‘CAUSE IT’S ALL ABOUT THE ART

PERFECT, [bad word] FROM ABOVE
MAGIC AS MAGIC THING AND LOVELY AS LOVE
GIFT FROM OLYMPUS, WHO SEND ME THE MUSE
AND SHOES

IF I WALK WITH TWITCH IN THE SCENE IN THE KITCHEN
FIRST DATE JITTERS AREN’T TO BLAME
‘CAUSE ALL PENNY FEELS ARE THESE NINE INCH HEELS
WHICH ARE GONNA MAKE ME FALL AND DIE AND AREN’T IN FRAME
BUT MY DEATH-SCENE PUMPS ARE REALLY DREAMY
RIGHT WHEN BILLY DUMPS MY CORPSE, IT’S STEAMY
TO SEE ME ALL – WAIT
OH I’M SORRY I LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT I’M BEING SUCH BIMBO!

BUT IT’S NOT ABOUT SHOES
EVEN IF THEY’RE SWEET
THEY SHOULD FOCUS ON MY TRAGEDY AND NOT MY FEET
NO IT’S NOT ABOUT SHOES
WHEN IT’S ALL ABOUT THE ART

MEMORY, METHOD, PRIMAL AND DEEP
ALL STANISLAVSKY, STRASBERG AND STREEP [bad word]  MR. LIPTON, THAT’S HOW YOU BUILD
THE GUILD

BUT IT’S NOT ABOUT THE GUILD
I’BE KILLED
IF I SHILLED
FOR THE GUILD
ON SOMEBODY ELSE’S TIME
THEN AGAIN, I SORT OF WAS KILLED
THE GUILD SEASON ONE AVAILBLE ON DVD PLUS NEW EPIDSODES AT THE [bad word] WE ALSO HAVE T-SHIRTS

Joss:
Felicia!

CATCH GUILD FEVER

MY TORTURED ACTOR’S PROCESS:
STAND HERE AND DO WHAT JOSS SAYS
REMEMBER THAT IT’S NOT ABOUT

THE WEIRD BEARD ON OTTO
THE BEER AND CLAMATO
THE HAIR IN THE CHEESE AND
THE GUILD’S SECOND SEASON
AND BRAND NEW DAY NEIL
THAT INTRO’S UNREAL
HORSE – NOT TOO SHABBY
NOW STEADY’S ALL CRABBY
THE SOLDIER BOY EXTRA
GOOD TIMES – NO, I’LL TEXT YA
THE RED BULL NEIL’S DRINKING
I’M DEAD AND I’M BLINKING
AND JOSS’S UNGLUING
WHEN I MENTION POOING
WHICH I’M ALWAYS DOING
I MEAN MENTIONING POOING
I MEAN ART
ART
ART’S REALLY EASY…