Music by Joss Whedon and Jed Whedon
Lyrics by Joss Whedon
Performed by Stacy Shirk and Neil Patrick Harris

Stacy
THEY THINK I’M NO ONE
I DON’T HAVE NAME
BUT I WANT TO LIVE FOREVER
JUST LIKE IN “FAME”
(BUT NOT AS DEPRESSING; I HEAR THE REMAKE IS BETTER)

TWO WEEKS IN THE BUSINESS
STILL GOT NO BREAKS
THE PEOPLE ALL SAY I’LL NEVER
HAVE WHAT IT TAKES

BUT I CAN’T LOSE
I’VE PAID MY DUES

TEN DOLLAR SOLO
WORTH EVERY DIME
MY PATH IS SO STEEP
BUT MY GOD JOSS IS CHEAP
AND DOESN’T MIND WASTING YOUR TIME

SEE THE BAD HORSE [bad word] JUMP INTO FRAME
THEY TELL ME I’M NOT READY
TO GET IN THE GAME

BUT I’LL SHOW THEM
MY ATM

TEN DOLLAR SOLO
NOT BAD SO FAR
THERE’S INTERNAL RHYME
ALTHOUGH NOT EVERY INSTANCE
AND THE METER IS OCCASIONALLY LITTLE BIT BIZARRE

THEY SAY HOLLYWOOD IS HEARTLESS
AND ONLY THE STRONGEST SURVIVES
BUT I LIKE IT PLENTY
I GAVE JOSS TWENTY
AND GOT BACK DREAM AND TWO FIVES

SO [bad word] MY

Neil:
TEN DOLLAR SOLO – SOLOMENTE BABY!

Stacy:
NO, THIS IS MY SCENE

Neil:
YOUR SCENE, I’VE SEEN YOUR SCENE

Stacy:
YOU’RE WONDERFUL, NEIL
BUT JOSS MADE ME DEAL

Neil:
SUCK IT – I GAVE HIM FIFTEEN… YEAEEEEAAAHH!!!

Stacy and Neil:
TEN DOLLAR LAME-O

Stacy:
ARE THOSE THE WORDS NOW?

Stacy and Neil:
HOW COULD I(YOU) KNOW
THAT JOSS PAYS HIS DEBT
WITH THIS CHEESY DUET
WHEN YOU STOOP SO LOW
THEN YOU SAY SO LONG
SOLO