Wo-oh-woh, wo-oh-woh
Edwin Meese, Edwin Meese,
him and his flock of Canadian geese,
are flyin’ to the south side of town. [bad word]  to close me down
cuz they can’t get it up anymore. [bad word] on [bad word] on [bad word] on down to the Pornoshop)
They’re tryin’ to close my store. [bad word]  down to try to bust me
but they can’t take away my inventory.
Wo-oh-woh, [bad word] on in, we got private booths
Where you can wear a leisure [bad word] on in, we’ll give you rope
so you can jack off while you’re shootin’ dope
I own the door . . . .
I mop the floor . . . .
Nobody uses the ashtrays anymore
I been workin’ here all my life
I ain’t even got no wife
but I got inflatable dolls
We got vibrators up the [bad word] You [bad word] and make a pass
Slap the monkey while you [bad word] on in and suck the bait
Wo-oh-woh, wo-oh-woh
Miss McDonald had some [bad word]  E-I-E-I-O
And on that farm she had a master, E-I-E-I-O
With a dead [bad word] here and a dead [bad word] there
Here a [bad word] there a [bad word] everywhere a crock pot
Miss McDonald served some [bad word]  E-I-E-I-O
Over 33 dead after they were served! It’s not as horrid as
them awful hamburgers or disgusting french fries, you crock pot!
We put everything in a brown paper bag
Because we are purveyors of fine [bad word] They tried to get me to open a Pizza Hut [bad word] break! (“Oh, I love your big [bad word] ”)
We got tapestries of Charlie Monoxide givin’ head to a parrot,
not to mention his priceless erotica collection, international in scope!
I don’t care if you’re from France
or Spain or Belgium with a pack in your pants
I’ll be workin’ around the clock
If I get bored I’ll play with my [bad word] My job to me will never matter
cuz I’ll end up with the pancake batter
Wo-oh-woh, wo-oh-woh [bad word] Ed Meese with [bad word] babe
She’s from Kiev, her name is Gabe
And she’s sufferin’ from a severe case of Soviet jewelry
We never close (we never close)
Cuz we know you gotta hose
(and because we know there will never be a
separation between SHOP and STATE)
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong
Ding dong the shop is closed
The Pornoshop, the pornoshop
Ding dong, the pornoshop is closed!