Theres [bad word] band that plays tunes out of tune

In the library garden sunday afternoon

While a little chappie waves a golden wand
 [bad word] band

In 1910 I was so handsome and so strong

My moustache was stiffly waxed and one foot long

And I loved a girl while you played teatime tunes

 [bad word] band, youre playing my tune out of tune

Oh
 [bad word] band

Wont you play a haunting theme again to me

While I eat my scones and drink my cup of tea

The sun is warm but its a lonely afternoon

Oh, play that theme
 [bad word] band

How I wish that I could join [bad word] band

We could play in lively parks throughout the land

And one sunday afternoon, Id find my love
 [bad word] band,

In the 14-18 war I went to sea

Thought my sunday love was waiting home for me

And now shes married to the leader of the band, oh

Oh yeah... I hope you break your baton