RON:  

You're Harry Freakin' Potter!  
You don't understand  
you're a legend, man,  
to us all!  

Every son and daughter--  

RON & THE KIDS: [spoken] "SAFE!"  

RON:  

... From You-Know-Who,  
all because of you!  
You were small,  
but I wonder if you can recall...  

 [bad word]  Oooo...]  

RON:  

Long story short,  
this guy,  
[whispered] "Voldemort"  
was super [bad word] ..  

HARRY:  

[spoken] "Voldemort?"  

THE KIDS:  

[GASP!] "SHHH!!!"  

 [bad word]  Oooo...]  

RON:  
... Tried to kill you & your parents,  
and this is where it gets intensely cool...  

Even though you were a tiny little boy,  
you shoulda died but you survived and then destroyed  
this evil guy and it's story we enjoy to tell....  

RON & THE KIDS:  

You're Harry Freakin' Potter!  
We don't prefer Gandalf,  
Merlin, or Oz,  
You're a whole lot hotter!  
With that lighting scar,  
you're a superstar to us all!  
If we're in trouble we know who to call!  

[DANCE BREAK]  

RITA SKEETER:  

You're Harry Freakin' Potter!  
I wouldn't wince at all,  
you're invincible to all harm!  

Like betty crocker--  

RITA SKEETER & THE KIDS:  

[Oooh!]  

RITA:  

... I wanna eat you up!  
No one'll beat you up  
with that charm!  
Remember, Harry, kid,  
you're the Boss,  
you're the King,  
you're the Bomb!  

HARRY:  

But this is all so sad,  
I mean, my Mom and Dad  
were killed, long ago...  

THE KIDS:  

[Long ago they died!]  

HARRY:  

... I wanna be psyched,  
but being unliked  
is all I know...  

 [bad word]   

[... All he knows, that's why--]  

HARRY:  

I never thought I'd be a part of such a fate,  
an opportunity eleven years late...  
I guess it's time for me step up to the plate  
and show 'em that I'm something great!  

I'm Harry Freakin' Potter!  
I'll do what I can  
if what you say I am is [bad word] #33;  

I can't be bothered  
by my awful past,  
I've found at last  
something I can do,  
so it's time I knew  
exactly who I am...  

I'm Harry Freakin' Potter!  

THE KIDS:  

You're Harry Freakin' Potter!  

HARRY & THE KIDS  

I'm/You're Harry Freakin' Potter--  

HARRY:  

... And I'm the Man!  

THE KIDS:  

[Ahhhhhh]  

HARRY & THE KIDS:  

[spoken] "HARRY FREAKIN' POTTER!"