Thenardier:
 [bad word]  Monsieur, sit yourself down
 And meet the best innkeeper in town
 As for the rest, all of 'em crooks:
 Rooking their guests and crooking the books
 Seldom do you see 
 Honest men like me
 gent of good intent
 Who's content to be

 Master of the house, doling out the charm
 Ready with a handshake and an open palm
 Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir
 Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
 Glad to do a friend a favor
 Doesn't cost me to be nice
 But nothing gets you nothing
 Everything has got a little price!

 Master of the house, keeper of the zoo
 Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
 Watering the wine, making up the weight
 Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
 Everybody loves a landlord
 Everybody's bosom friend
 I do whatever pleases
 Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!

 Thenardier & Drinkers:
 Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
 Never wants a passerby to pass him by
 Servant to the poor, butler to the great
 [bad word]  philosopher, and lifelong mate!
 Everybody's [bad word] 
 Everybody's chaperone

 Thenardier
 But lock up your valises
 Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!

 Enter Monsieur, lay down your load
 Unlace your boots, rest from the road
 This weighs a ton, travel's a curse
 But here we strive to lighten your purse
 Here the goose is cooked
 Here the fat is fried
 And nothing's overlooked
 Till I'm satisfied

 Food [bad word]  Food beyond belief
 Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
 Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat
 Filling up the sausages with this and that
 Residents are more than [bad word] 
 Bridal suite is occupied
 Reasonable charges
 Plus some little extras on the side!

 Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice
 Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
 Here a little slice, there a little cut
 Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
 When [bad word] to fixing prices
 There are a lot of tricks he knows
 How it all increases, all them bits and pieces
 Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!

 Thenardier & [bad word] 
 Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
 Never wants a passerby to pass him by
 Servant to the poor, butler to the great
 [bad word]  philosopher, and lifelong mate!
 Everybody's [bad word] 
 Gives 'em everything he's got

 The