Santa was stoned at Christmas
How'd he get that high
And what's he feedin' them reindeers
That makes the [bad word] fly
I shared a cone with Santa
happy Christmas high
Santa was stoned at Christmas time 
And, so was I

Thought I'd stopped believin' in Santa
Untill last Christmas night
I was havin' a quiet little cone on me own
When I looked up into the sky
I saw this [bad word]  outta controle
Headin' straight for my place
Crashed and burned in my backyard
Woah Santa was off his face

Santa was stoned at Christmas
How'd he get that high
And what's he feedin' them reindeers
That makes the [bad word] fly
I shared a cone with Santa
happy Christmas high
Santa was stoned at Christmas time 
And, so was I

Yeah Santa was wrecked a total mess
When he dropped in outta the blue
In a bettered old sled full of whacky way
And six bent reindeer too
Now you might think 
That I'm makin' this up
But you can think what you like
Santa was stoned at Christmas time
And so was I

Santa was stoned at Christmas
How'd he get that high
And what's he feedin' them reindeers
That makes the [bad word] fly
I shared a cone with Santa
happy Christmas high
Santa was stoned at Christmas time 
And, so was I

Yeah Santa was ripped at Christmas [bad word] faced maggotted stoned
And 
When I helped him untagle his reindeer
He offered me a cone
Well then I strapped him back
In that battered old sled
N'after one more toke of the bong
And a crack of the whip 
and a [bad word] you [bad word] 
Santa Clause was gone

Santa was stoned at Christmas
How'd he get that high
And what's he feedin' them reindeers
That makes the [bad word] fly
I shared a cone with Santa
happy Christmas high
Santa was stoned at Christmas time 
And, so was I
 [bad word] you [bad word] 

Santa was stoned at Christmas
How'd he get that high
And what's he feedin' them reindeers
That makes the [bad word] fly
I shared a cone with Santa
happy Christmas high
Santa was stoned at Christmas time 
And, so was I

Yeah,
Santa was stoned at Christmas time
And so was I