It was the blackest night!
There was no moon in sight!
(you know the stars ain't shinin'
'cause the sky's too tight)
I heard the scary wind!
I seen some ugly trees!
There was a werewolf honkin',
'long the side of me!

I'm mean 'n i'm bad, (y'know i ain't no sissy)
Got a big [bad word] girly by the name of 'chrissy'
Talkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me...
'n this ride up the mountain of mystery, (mystery)

(how 're you doin'?)

I noticed even the crickets
Acted weird up here
And so i figured i might
Just drink a little beer
I said, "gimme summa that what yer suckin' on..."
But there was no reply
'cause she was gone!

"where's those [bad word] i like so well,
'n' my goddam beer!"
Is what i started to yell, then i heard this noise
Like a [bad word]  twig, 'n up jumped the devil!
(he's about this big!)

He had a red suit on
An' a widow's peak
An' then a pointed tail
'n like a sulphur reek,
Yes, it was him awright,
I swear i knowed it was!
He had some human flesh
Stuck underneath his claws
You know, it looked to me
Like it was [bad word] skin!
I said, "you son-of-a [bad word] "
('cause i was mad at him!)
He just got out his floss
'n started cleanin' his fang
So i shot him with my shooter,
Said: bang! bang! bang!

Then the sucker just laughed 'n said: "put it away!
You know, i ate her all up...now what you
Gonna say?"
You ate my chrissy?
"yeah! [bad word] 'n all!"
Well what about the beer then?
"now, were the cans this tall?"
Even her boots?
"would i lie to you?" [bad word]  you musta been hungry!
"yeah, this is [bad word] "
Don't they pay you good for the
Stuff that you do?
"well, you know, i [bad word] when the [bad word] through..."
Well i want my chrissy,
Oh yeah?
'n i want my beer
Hah!
So you just barf it back up!
Now, devil, do you hear?
Look:
"blow it out your [bad word]  motorcycle man!
I mean, i am the devil, do you understand?
Just what will you give me for your [bad word] and beer?
I suppose you noticed this little
Contract here..."
Yer goddam right, you son-of-a [bad word] 
Don't call me that!
That's about the only reason
I learned writin' for!
Gimme that paper! bet yer horns i'll sign!
Because i need a beer, 'n it's [bad word] 
Squeezin' time!
"man, you can't fool me! you ain't that bad!
Oh yeah?
Why you shoulda seen some of the souls that i've had!
There was milhous nixon 'n agnew too!
'n both of those suckers was worse 'n you!"
Let's make a deal if you think
That's [bad word] I mean, you're supposed to be the devil so...whatcha
Gonna do?
Heh?

Now hold on just a second...
You wanna make a deal with me hah?
Yeah!
Well ah, i don't know man, you know...
I just don't know about this...
What?
See, cause i...
Listen, you're...are you losing your nerve?
No man, it ain't got nothin' to do with nerve...
You're supposed to be the devil!
It's got to do...
You're supposed to be bad!
It's got to do with style, fool!
I don't know if you've the right style to get into [bad word] 
You know...
Well, actually, to tell you...tell you the honest to god [bad word] 
I'm very short on style as a matter of fact...
Yeah, i know...that's...that's what makes me wonder
But i have...i, i think i have something that
You may be interested in...
What is that?
You can have my soul
It's a mean little sucker
'bout a thousand years old