If I could talk to the animals, just imagine it, 
Chattin' with a chimp in chimpanzee, 
Imagine talking to a tiger, chatting with a cheetah, 
What a neat achievement it would be! 

If we could talk to the animals, learn their languages, 
Maybe Take an animal degree, 
I'd study elephant and eagle, buffalo and beagle, 
Alligator, guinea pig, and flea! 

I would converse in polar bear and python, 
And I would curse in fluent kangaroo, 
If people ask me "can you speak rhinoceros?" 
I'd say "of courserous! Can't you?" 

If I conferred with our furry friends, man to animal, 
Think of the amazing repartee
If I could walk with the animals, talk with the animals,  [bad word] and squeak and squawk with the animals, 
And they could squeak and skwawk and speak and talk to us!

If I consult with the [bad word] Think what fun we’d have,
asking for the crocodiles for tea!
Or maybe lunch with three lions, [bad word] and sea lions
What a lovely place the world would be!

If I spoke slang to orangutans
The advantages any fool on earth could plainly see!
Discussing Eastern art and dramas
With intellectual llamas
That’s a big step forward you’ll agree!

I’d learn to speak in antelope and turtle
And my Pekinese would be extremely good
If I were asked to sing in hippopotamus
I’d say “whynotamous?” and I would! 

If I could parlay with pachyderms
It’s a fairy tale worthy of Hans Anderson and Grimm
man who walks with the animals and talks with the animals [bad word] and squeaks and squawks with the animals 
and they could talk to *me*!

I’d study every *living* creature’s language
So I could speak to all of them on site
If friends said “can he talk in crab or pelican?”
You’d say “*like [bad word] he can” and you'll be right!

And if you just stop to think of it
there's no doubt of it
I would win a place in history
If I could walk with the animals
Talk with the animals [bad word] no word here squeak and squawk with the animals
And they could squeak and squawk and speak and talk to me!