Have you seen my sister Evelyn? 
Dang she’s gone and wandered off again. 
I’ve been looking high and low, 
Where oh where’d my sister go? 
She’s been known to spend some time, 
With a sailor friend of mine. 
I called him up and what’d he say? 
“I ain’t seen that girl today.” 

So if you see my sister Evelyn, 
Tell that girl to hurry home again. 
Where oh where’d my sister Evelyn go? 

Is she with the doctor or the plumber, 
Or the dentist or the handyman? 
Did she go to India or Africa, 
Or Wichita or Pakistan? 
Did she go join the Navy, or [bad word] 
crazy, 
Or is she playing a trick on me? 
Did [bad word] off with the barber, the professor, 
Or the banker, or the clergyman? 
Is it possible that she could be in Timbuktu, 
Or Katmandu or Vegas or Uzbekistan?, 
She learning how to do-do, 
The Chattanooga Choo Choo? 
Oh golly where could that girl be? 

She’s been known to jump a train, 
With a gal we know from down the lane. 
I looked her up and wha’d she say? 
“I ain’t seen that girl in days.” 

Is my floozy sister with the doctor, 
Or the [bad word]  
Or the dentist or the handyman? 
Did that ho-bag quit her job [bad word] off 
with that [bad word] head Mike, 
To Indio, Guantanamo, 
Or Panama or Disneyland? 
Is she studying Kabbalah? 
Did she win a million dollars? 
Or is she dead in a ditch somewhere?