Gather weary travelers
I have a tale to tell
It might just save your lives
But only if you listen well
Cause there before the breakers
And just around the way
There's a sign that says "Beware 
The Beast of Pirate's Bay!"
Some say he's a guppy
kid threw in the sea
He ate so many sailors now
He's bigger than a tree
His teeth are sharp as scissors
His claws, they are like knives
And if you think he's ugly
Wait till you see his insides
 [bad word] 
Oh, don't you sail and don't you row
And certainly don't you swim
Cause if you aren't careful
You'll end up inside of him
He'll eat you up, he'll spit you out
You'd better stay away
Heed the sign that says beware
The Beast of Pirate's Bay

Some say he's a serpent
That came straight from [bad word] To eat the souls of pirates
And other ne'er-do-wells
Some they don't believe it
As for me I got a hunch
Cause they used to have some pirates here
But he ate them all for lunch
 [bad word] 
Well, Captain Hook, you've heard of him
He came to Pirate's Bay
It seems his little nemesis
Had nearly got away
He reached into the water 
To grab at Peter Pan
There was a [bad word] and a scream
And now that scurvy pirate's
Got hooks on both his hands
 [bad word] 
Well, Blackbeard the pirate
You know for what he's feared
It's mostly for the dark imposing
Color of his beard
He saw the beast and now
Nobody's scared of him because
His beard turned white and all agree
He looks like Santa Claus
 [bad word] 
Well now the tavern's empty 
And there's only you and me
And if you care, I'd like to share
How this song came to be [bad word] a little closer
If you really want to know
This very sad and woeful tale
Happened so long ago

Well I was just a little boy
When I went to Pirate's Bay
And there I saw a creature
That was very much dismayed
With a harpoon in his dorsal fin
And hook stuck in his side
This mighty whale was in such pain
We both began to cry
I pushed and I shoved
But he wouldn't give way
Into the deeper waters off
Our shallow Pirate's Bay
All I could do to help him
Was to keep people away
So I wrote a sign that said beware
The Beast of Pirate's Bay

And what did it say?

Oh, don't you sail and don't you row
And certainly don't you swim
Cause if you aren't careful
You'll end up inside of him
He'll eat you up, he'll spit you out
You'd better stay away
Heed the sign that says beware [bad word]  I should know, I put it there!
Heed the sign that says beware
The Beast of Pirate's Bay