I heard there is no Christmas, 
In the silly Middle East.. 
No Trees, no Snow, no Santa Claus, 
They have Different Religious beliefs.. 
They Believe in Muhammad, 
And not in our Holiday.. 
And so every December, 
I go to the Middle East and say.. 

Hey there Mr Muslim, Merry [bad word] Christmas 
Put down that book 'The Koran' 
and hear some holiday wishes 
Incase you haven't noticed, 
it's Jesus's Birthday 
So get off you heathen Muslim [bad word] 
And [bad word] celebrate. 

There is no holiday season in india, 
i've heard.. 
They don't hang up their stockings, 
and that is just absurd.. 
They've never read a Christmas Story, 
They Don't know [bad word] is about.. 
And that's why in December, 
I'll go to india and shout.. 

Hey there Mr Hinduist, Merry [bad word] Christmas 
Dring some 'nog, and eat some Beef 
and pass it to the Missus 
Incase you haven't noticed, 
It's Jesus's Birthday 
So get off your heathen hindu [bad word]  
And [bad word] celebrate. 

Now I heard that in Japan, 
Everyone just lives in sin.. 
They pray to several gods, 
And put needles in their skin.. 
On December twenty-fifth, 
all they do is eat a cake.. 
and that is why i'll go to Japan, 
and walk around and say.. 

Hey there Mr Shintoist, Merry [bad word] Christmas 
God is gonna kick your [bad word] You infidelic pagan scum. 
Incase you haven't noticed, 
There's festive things to do 
So lets all rejoice for Jesus 
and Merry [bad word] Christmas to you. 

On Christmas Day, I travel round the world and say.. 
Taoists, Korishnas, Buddists 
and all you atheists too.. 
Merry [bad word] Christmas to you. 
Thank you, Mr Hat..