[bad word] a time in every mans life 
When he grows hair where it used to be bare 

I know you're feeling weird, but you should be happy 
You don't have a [bad word]  that would be crappy 
Because periods suck (and [bad word] ) 
This is [bad word] Education, not grammar, fool! 

When she gives you affection, you better wear protection 
That [bad word] might have an infection, are you paying close attention? 
In [bad word] Ed, remember what you read 
Just forget what the others have said 
Get it through your head, use your brain before you go to bed 

And it takes only one sperm cell to make a baby, 
And if you think they are cute, then you must be crazy 
Babies suck because they barf and poo and cry 
They have the ability to pee in your eye 
(Oh, my God it burns!) 

And did we mention 
The risk of getting STDs 
Not just gross hookers have it 
Even Dennis Rodman could get a bit 
You don't know who Dennis Rodman is? 
Well maybe you should watch more basketball 
Wait a second this is not about sports 
Quick fact! You can't get girls when you're wearing these shorts 

When she gives you affection, you better wear protection 
That [bad word] might have an infection, are you paying close attention? 
In [bad word] Ed, remember what you read 
Just forget what the others have said 
Get it through your head, use your brain before you go to bed 

Your body is growing 
You will get hairy 
Your little voice will start to change 
And your no-no place will feel a bit strange 
Your pits will stink 
You'll get zits on your face 
Without this knowledge you will scare girls away 
So listen to this song every day