I'm ready, ready as anybody can be
I'm ready, ready as anybody can be
Now I'm ready for you, I hope you're ready for me

I got an axe handle pistol on a graveyard frame
That shoot tombstone bullets, wearin' balls and chain
I'm drinkin' TNT, I'm smokin' dynamite
I hope some screwball start a fight
'Cause I'm ready, ready as anybody can be
I'm ready for you, I hope you're ready for me

All you pretty little chicks with your pretty little hair
I know you feels like I ain't nowhere
But stop what your doin' [bad word] overhere
I'll prove to you baby, that I ain't no square
Because I'm ready, ready as anybody can be
Now I'm ready for you, I hope you're ready for me

I been drinkin' gin like never before
I feel so good, I want you to know
One more drink, I wish you would
I takes a whole lotta lovin' to make me feel good
'Cause I'm ready, ready as anybody can be
Now I'm ready for you, I hope you're ready for me