Well it was all that I could do to keep from crying
Sometimes it seems so useless to remain
But you don't have to call me darlin', darlin'
You never even called me by my name

You don't have to call me Waylon Jennings
And you don't have to call me Charlie Pride
And you don't have to call me Merle Haggard anymore
Or even though you're on my fightin' side

And I'll hang around as long as you will let me
And I never minded standin' in the rain
But you don't have to call me darlin', darlin'
You never even called me by my name

Well I've heard my name a few times in your phone book
(Hello, hello)
And I've seen it on signs where I've played
But the only time I know I'll hear David Allan Coe
Is when Jesus has his final Judgment Day

So, I'll hang around as long as you will let me
And I never minded standin' in the rain
But you don't have to call me darlin', darlin'
You never even called me by my name

Well a friend of mine named Steve Goodman wrote that song
And he told me it was the perfect country and western song
I wrote him back a letter and I told him it was not the
Perfect country and western song because he hadn't said
Anything at all about momma or trains or [bad word] or prison or gettin' [bad word] 
Well he sat down and wrote another verse to this song
And he sent it to me and
After reading it I realized that my friend had written the
Perfect country and western song
And I felt obliged to include it on this album
The last verse goes like this here

Well I was [bad word] the day my mom got out of prison
And I went to pick her up in the rain
But before I could get to the station in the pick-up [bad word] She [bad word] over by a damned old train

And I'll hang around as long as you will let me
And I never minded standin' in the rain
And you don't have to call me darlin', darlin'
You never even called me, well I wondered why you don't call me?
Why don't you ever call me by my name?