Here we go. 

 Ungh, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton 
 YEAAAHH! 
 The night starts now 
 Together on the track, the boys are back 
 The night starts now 
 Night starts now baby roll with us, chickens snapping at the neck when we rollin' up. 
 ROLLIN' UP 
 Blow through the doors ain't no holdin' up 
 YEAH 
 Black card at the bar like I gives a [bad word]   [bad word] ON 
 Ladies shifty eyed when we walk into the set, [bad word] the fellas looking jealous play the back and get wet 
 YEAH YEAH 
 Three pound in my waist, shank in my sock, you either get cut, get stuffed or get shot. 

 THIS IS THE TALE OF CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW, PIRATE SO BRAVE ON THE SEVEN SEAS 
 What? 
 MYSTICAL QUEST TO THE ISLE OF TORTUGA, RAVEN LOCKS SWAY ON THE OCEAN'S 
 BREEZE. 

 Yeah that was kinda weird, but we're back in the club 
 Buying up the bar so the groupies show us love 
 KIERA KNIGHTLY 
 [bad word] ice-man, I'm the top gunner 
 Heater on blast, I'm the number one stunner 
 JACK SPARROW 
 Watch it girl cause I ain't your "Mr. Nice Guy", 
 More like the "meet ya take you home and [bad word] you twice guy" 
 YEAH YEAH! 
 All dressed up with nowhere [bad word]  
 And now I make you feel crazy with the..? 
 NOW BACK TO THE GOOD PART: 
 FROM THE DAY HE WAS BORN, HE YEARNED FOR ADVENTURE 
 Nooo 
 OLD CAPTAIN JACK GIVING THEM WHAT FOR. 
 HE'S THE PAUPER OF THE SURF 
 (yeah..uh huh) 
 THE JESTER OF TORTUGA 
 (oh God) 
 BUT IS DAVY JONES' LOCKER WHAT LIES IN STORE? 
 Yeah, we've seen the movie 

 Throw your hands in the air and say [bad word] [bad word] on 
 CAPTAIN JACK 
 What? 
 JOHNNY DEPP 
 No 
 From the front to the back say we count [bad word] on 
 DAVY JONES 
 Nope 
 GIANT SQUID 
 Wrong 
 Michael Bolton we're really gonna need you to focus up 

 ROGER THAT LET ME TRY IT WITH ANOTHER FILM 

 Wait-- 

 LIFE IS BOX OF CHOCOLATES AND MY NAME IS FORREST GUMP 
 (Not better) 
 THOUGH I'M NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED, I GIVE JENNY ALL OF MY LOVE 
 [bad word] on!) 
 OK THEN I'M LEGAL AIDE, ERIN BROCKOVICH IS MY NAME 
 (Nooo, God) 
 THEN YOU CAN CALL ME SCARFACE, SNORTIN MOUNTAINS OF COCAINE 
 (close enough) 
 YOU [bad word] WANNA PLAY ROUGH? OKAY, I'M RELOADED 

 THIS IS THE TALE OF TONY MONTANYA 
 CUBANO FLAME, WITH THE MIAMI NUTS 
 (Take it home!) 
 GOT BASEHEAD WIFE, BUT HER WOMB IS POLLUTED 
 THIS WHOLE TOWN'S [bad word]  JUST WAITING TO GET [bad word]  

 Ooookay, turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile 
 [bad word] ME! 
 Yup, yeah, ok..?