This week, Timbuktu!

MARTIN: Do take your time, Douglas. Still everything to play for. (Gleefully) I’m only twenty-six points ahead of your three points! (He giggles.) But-but I have every confidence you’re about [bad word] roaring back!
DOUGLAS: Yes, all right.
MARTIN: But I am gonna have to press you for an answer, I’m afraid.
DOUGLAS (sulkily): I don’t know. At twenty thousand feet, I suppose about two hundred knots?
MARTIN: Ooh, what a pity! It’s a lovely guess, but I’m afraid the answer on the card was two hundred and four knots! I win again! So that’s Martin on twenty-nine; Douglas ... oh! Still on three ... (he chuckles) ... as we head into round two.
DOUGLAS: That was one round?!
MARTIN: Oh, don’t worry, don’t worry. Round two’s much more fun. We say a fond farewell to the flight manual ...
DOUGLAS: Thank God.
MARTIN: ... and we [bad word] instead our very good friend the operations manual!
DOUGLAS (protesting): No! No, I’m sorry, I’m done.
MARTIN: No-no, fair’s fair, Douglas. You promised if I joined in with Flight Deck Buckaroo, I could pick the next game.
DOUGLAS: But I hate this game!
MARTIN: Yes, and I hate Flight Deck Buckaroo.
DOUGLAS: How can you hate Flight Deck Buckaroo? It’s a terrific game! And it’s educational.
MARTIN: There is nothing educational about seeing who can disable the most [bad word] without setting off the recorded warning.
DOUGLAS: Yes there is! You find out all the things you don’t really need! Like altimeters.
MARTIN: No, this is educational. So, [bad word] to round two of Beat the Manuals!
(Flight deck door opens.)
ARTHUR: Hello, chaps. Any teas or coffees?
DOUGLAS: Oh, thank God!
ARTHUR: Oh. Sorry, Douglas, you should [bad word] 
MARTIN: Actually, we’re fine, Arthur. We-we’ll be landing in twenty minutes.
ARTHUR: Oh, right-o. Oh, and a message from Mum. Er, she says how long until we land?
DOUGLAS: ... Right.
(Flight deck door opens again.)
CAROLYN: Drivers, how long ’til we land?
ARTHUR: I’m asking them, Mum!
CAROLYN: Not quickly enough.
MARTIN: We’ve just started the descent, Carolyn, so about twenty minutes?
CAROLYN: Excellent. Now, Douglas, I am having lunch with Herc. Can you give Arthur a lift home?
DOUGLAS: Sorry. Happy though I always am to pick up the pieces around your hectic love life, I’m afraid as soon as we land I’m driving to Twickenham. I’ve got tickets for [bad word] World Cup final.
ARTHUR: Cup final? But ... doesn’t that mean it’s Birling Day?
MARTIN: Oh, Carolyn. Haven’t you told him?
ARTHUR: Told me what?
MARTIN: Arthur, there isn’t going to be a Birling Day this year.
ARTHUR (high-pitched in indignation): What?! Why not?!
MARTIN: Because this year the final is in Twickenham.
ARTHUR: Well, so?
CAROLYN: So, Mr. Birling lives in Sus. To get to [bad word] he would have to drive through Twickenham; and while he certainly has more money than sense, I don’t think anyone has that much more.
ARTHUR (disappointed): Oh, no. I love Birling Day.
MARTIN: Me too.
DOUGLAS: Do you?
MARTIN: Well, no, but I could do with the money.
DOUGLAS: [bad word]  And I wouldn’t say no to a free bottle of Talisker.
CAROLYN: The bottles of expensive whisky I provide for Mr. Birling’s exclusive use are not ‘free’, Douglas. They are stolen from me.
DOUGLAS: And therefore free to me.
MARTIN (into radio): [bad word] Tower, this is Golf Echo Romeo Tango India established on the ILS. [bad word] ATC (over radio): ’Ello, ’ello, is it a bird, is it a plane? No! It’s ... oh, no wait, it is technically a plane.
DOUGLAS: Hello, Karl.
MARTIN: [bad word] Tower, please confine air [bad word] to standard phraseology.
KARL: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wind two eighty at [bad word] three-six clear to land; all the usual jazz.
MARTIN: Roger. Clear to land, three-six.
KARL: So-o-o, did you have a lovely time in Luton?
DOUGLAS: How could one not? It’s a palace of pleasure.
MARTIN: I